Powerful girls grow up feeling secure in themselves. They learn to take action, making positive choices about their own lives and doing positive things for others. They think critically about the world around them. They express their feelings and acknowledge the feelings and thoughts of others in caring ways. Powerful girls feel good about themselves and grow up with a “can-do” attitude. Of course, strong girls may (like all of us) have times of insecurity and self-doubt, but these feelings aren’t paralyzing because the girls have learned to work through their problems. Powerful girls will grow up to lead full, valuable lives.

Here are some of our experts’ ideas to help you raise powerful daughters.

Encourage your daughter to pursue a passion.
“Full engagement with an activity she loves will give her the opportunity to master challenges, which will boost her self-esteem and resilience and affirm intrinsic values rather than appearance,” says Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out. “Having a passion lets her go shoot baskets or play an instrument, for example, instead of being swept up in online drama.”

Let her have a voice in making decisions.
“Whenever possible, let her make constructive choices about her life. Let her choose her own clothes, within appropriate limits. Give her a voice in what after-school activities she participates in and how many she wants to do (as long as it works for the rest of the family, too). Remember that knowing what she cares about most will come from trying some things and finding she doesn’t like them, as well as from finding things she loves to do,” recommends Jane Katch, Ed.D., author of They Don’t Like Me. “Your daughter might need to make a commitment for a short time for an activity (one soccer season) but when that’s over, it’s okay to try something different!”

Identify the values most important to your family.
“Consider the ways you convey these values, especially by example. What are the moments in your daily life when you can model the values you want your daughter to learn?” asks Simmons. “What traits and strengths do you want your daughter to develop as she grows?” asks Meg White, M.A. “See if these qualities are reflected in how you parent.”

Encourage her to solve issues on her own rather than fixing things for her.
“When parents take over, girls don’t develop the coping skills they need to handle situations on their own. Ask your daughter to consider three strategies she might use to deal with a situation, and then ask her about the possible outcomes. Let her decide what she wants to do (within reason). Even if you disagree with her choice, you give your daughter a sense of control over her life and show her that she is responsible for her decisions,” says Simmons.

Encourage her to take physical risks.
“Girls who avoid risks have poorer self-esteem than girls who can and do face challenges,” says JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., author of Girls Will Be Girls. “Urge your daughter to go beyond her comfort zone — for example, encourage a girl who’s scared to ride her bike downhill to find just a small hill to conquer first.” Catherine Steiner-Adair, Ed.D., co-author of Full of Ourselves: A Wellness Program to Advance Girl Power, Health and Leadership, agrees. “It’s important to help even non-athletic girls develop some physical competence and confidence when they’re young. Whether it’s through team or individual sports, girls need to form a physical relationship with their body that builds confidence.”

Get girls working together.
“Girls who work cooperatively in school or who problem-solve together do much better in taking large risks or facing challenges. These girls report an incredible sense of accomplishment and feeling of competence, both of which give a huge boost to self-esteem,” says Deak. “Encourage your daughter to participate in team-building activities or join organizations that rely on teamwork.”

Let your daughter know you love her because of who she is, not because of what she weighs or how she looks.
“Encourage your girl to eat in healthy ways, but don’t over-obsess over what she eats. Listen to her opinions (about food, and other things) and show appreciation for her uniqueness, to help her develop herself into the person she wants to be,” says Steiner-Adair. “Comment on the way she carries herself into a room or the ideas she is expressing before commenting on her looks. She needs you to know her insides and validate the developing person within, as well as noticing her emerging young womanhood,” adds White.

Allow her to disagree with you and get angry.
“Raising a powerful girl means living with one. She must be able to stand up to you and be heard, so she can learn to do the same with classmates, teachers, a boyfriend, or future bosses,” says White. Lyn Mikel Brown, Ed.D., and Sharon Lamb, Ed.D., co-authors of Packaging Girlhood, write, “Girls need guidance about how to stay clear in their disagreements, and they need support for not giving up their convictions to maintain a false harmony. Help girls to make considered choices about how to express their feelings, and to whom.” Steiner-Adair notes that “Not all girls will want to do this, especially shy girls, but you can still help them develop the skills.”

Address girl fighting when you see it.
“Talk with girls about relational violence (such as gossip, rumor-spreading and exclusion) as well as physical violence (hitting or fighting). But don’t assume all girls are mean, and avoid saying ‘girls will be girls’ when you witness girls engaging in exclusive cliques and clubs. Instead, affirm girls’ relational strengths and sense of fairness, help them identify and hold on to their strong feelings, like anger, and encourage them to practice more direct, positive ways to effect change in their relationships,” says Brown.

Make regular time to listen to your girl.
“By creating consistent, predictable times when she knows that you are receptive and available to listen — like riding in a car, taking a walk, or just sitting reading — you will eventually be let into her inner world. Let her use you as a sounding board to sort out what she is going through, without solving problems for her. The answers that come from within her are the ones she will eventually live by,” says White.

Listen more than you talk.
“When we talk to girls, they often experience it as us talking at them, and they not only stop listening, they stop thinking and reflecting. But when we listen to them, they have to think about what they are saying, and they tend to reflect more. And we need to keep an open dialogue — we can’t dismiss their chatter about ups and downs of friendship as trivial, and then expect them to talk to us about the important stuff,” says Lawrence Cohen, Ph.D., co-author of Mom, They’re Teasing Me.

Limit your daughter’s exposure to the media and popular culture when she is young.
“This will give her more time to develop her own ideas, creativity, and imagination from her direct first-hand experience. As she grows, media messages will start to get in, so having rules and routines from the start can help your daughter control her own experiences as she gets older,” says Diane Levin, Ph.D, author of So Sexy So Soon.

Help her process the messages in the media.
“Help her avoid the narrow focus on appearance and consumerism that often dominates the media. By helping your daughter process the messages she sees on the screen and develop her own ideas about them, you can prepare her to better resist the media’s pervasive stereotypes,” says Levin. “Help her notice the bigger picture — for example, how looking like her latest teen idol can be fun but also connects her with a lot of other stuff she might not have noticed or thought about. Wonder aloud about more general patterns you see, like how all those little purses hanging from everything might make it seem that all girls, even three-year-olds, are into shopping,” add Brown and Lamb.

Talk with her about the differences between sex in the movies and loving relationships in real life.
“It’s important to talk with your daughter about sex and sexuality in ways appropriate to her age and your values,” says Levin. “As she gets older it becomes increasingly important to help your daughter understand the difference between sexualized images in the media and healthy sexuality. Through give-and-take discussion, you can help her begin to understand the difference between the media’s presentation of sex and sexiness. You can talk about how sex is frequently portrayed without love, intimacy or emotion, or as part of caring relationships. When your daughter is old enough, you can begin to discuss what a mature, healthy, loving relationship — in which sex is a part — is all about.”

Acknowledge her struggles but keep a sense of perspective.
“We have to acknowledge the pain our daughters are experiencing, so they feel heard and accepted and empathized with. But we also need to put it into perspective, to stay calm and listen to what they are experiencing without projecting our own experiences onto theirs. Your daughter is having a different experience than you did, even if there are surface similarities,” says Cohen. “After all, she has something you didn’t have: you.”

Enjoy her!
“Having a powerful girl can be exciting and energizing. Find activities you both enjoy and do them regularly together. Maybe you both like cooking or having breakfast together, hiking or reading books,” says Katch. “Try to keep this connection as she gets older — if times ever get tough, you’ll appreciate this special bond you share!”

Expect girls to respect everyone, but don’t expect them to like everyone.
You can certainly insist that your daughter behave in civil, non-hurtful ways — but you should also respect the fact that she doesn’t have to like or be best friends with everyone. “Talk with your daughter about what respect looks like,” says Rachel Simmons. “For example, if someone sits down at her lunch table who isn’t her friend, what is your daughter’s obligation? To say hello? To answer if asked a question? Talking about this with your daughter will help her make the right choices in social situations.”

Behave the way you want your daughter to behave.
You are your daughter’s primary role model. Let her see you model positive social behavior, such as talking to lots of different parents at school gatherings and refraining from gossiping. Help her learn to be kind; for instance, don’t let your daughter distribute presents or party invitations at school unless she has one for everyone.

Don’t get over-invested in her social life.
Experts say that sometimes elementary-school girls’ social pain is exacerbated by parents. “This is a tough time for many parents because possibly for the first time, they witness their girls experiencing real social pain. And sometimes they see them inflicting pain on others,” adds Catherine Steiner-Adair. “Parents need to separate their own emotions from their daughters’ social lives.”

Don’t interview for pain.
“When girls get rejected, parents feel it too,” says Michael Thompson. “But I encourage parents not to keep asking their daughters questions about who did what to whom. This doesn’t help and it actually stirs up their feelings — and yours. A better focus is helping your girls learn to take care of themselves. We absolutely want to comfort and console, but we don’t want to dig for it out of our own anxiety or desire to fix things.”

Help your daughter learn how to speak directly.
“You can’t fight her battles and can’t choose her friends,” says Steiner-Adair. “But you can help her develop the tools to say things like, ‘It hurts my feelings when you don’t talk to me at school,’ or ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings that way.’ ”

Realize that your goals for your daughter may not be her goals.
It’s important to acknowledge, understand and respect your daughter’s goals, even if you are trying to convince her otherwise,” says Lawrence Cohen. “You may think the friend she is pining for is not good for her. But your daughter’s agenda may be to figure out a way to make this girl become her best friend.” Adds Simmons, “Empowering your girl to set her own goals helps her to take responsibility for her own behavior, and to practice setting and achieving realistic goals for herself.”

Talk about friendship in an open way.
“Discuss with your daughter the interactions you witness among her group of friends,” recommends Meg White. “You might ask your daughter what she thinks about certain players in the group. What does she like or dislike about them? By listening to her you will teach her to listen to herself.” Says Simmons, “Parents have every right to say what they think about their daughters’ social situations — just be careful how you say it. It’s one thing to say, ‘That girl is spoiled and selfish’ — which could make your daughter leap to her friend’s defense — and quite another to say, ‘I am really disappointed with the way Marie handed out invitations in front of everyone but didn’t include Annie,’ which criticizes the action without condemning the friend.”

I will be adding articles, written by others, about young girls and their friendships, as well as parenting tools in this area.  I encourage you to add your ideas and thoughts on these topics.  I hope you enjoy them!  Kristi

Kyleen, like all of the Friends Forever Girls has a magnetic personality, sure to attract your young girls attention!  Kyleen is an only child and her mom owns her own catering company.  Needless to say, Kyleen is a young girl that loves to cook.  Kyleen is shy and it takes her a while to get to know others, but once she opens up, she becomes a friend forever.   She makes a wonderful birthday gift, Christmas gift, Hanukkah gift for that special young girl in your life!

We now offer:

• Beautiful Butterfly Lap Desk
• Young Girl’s Diary
• Butterfly Beach Towel (perfect birhtday gift!)
• Go Green Sketch Pad and Pencil Set
• Go Green Journal
• Friendship Necklace Set
• Friendship Frame
• Friendship Autograph Pillowcase
• Friendship T-shirts

We’ll continue to grow this area of our site to provide you with perfect gift ideas for those special young girls in your life!  As always, we will accept returns if you are not completely satisfied.  We’re here to provide you with an excellent customer service experience!

The Dolls: These dolls truly are beautiful.  High quality and perfect for school age girls who love to collect and play with dolls.

The Books: These books offer great stories for the girls to really give them the background story on all the dolls and the friendships that make them so special.

The Clothes: The clothing offered for this doll line are affordable, fresh and fun!

The Accessories: Little girls love fun accessories, and when they can be purchased to match their favorite doll, that’s even better.   They carry T-shirts for little girls, jewery boxes, even a tea set to encourage great friend play days!  A true value at $59.00.

AFrogInMySoup.com

Shera

AnOrdinaryLife.com

Kristin

You know how toys usually have those horrible twisty ties to keep them in place in their packages? The stupid ties that could withstand a nuclear blast? Well Marlee–which you see at the right here–comes lovingly tied in her box with beautiful white ribbons in bows.

That’s right, no steel cables, no rubber bands of doom, no duct tape, just pretty little bows you pull to release. Wow. It’s about time somebody came up with that idea because I’ve been griping about it for years.

But besides my ecstasy over the packaging the doll itself is just the sweetest thing. The Friends Forever Girls–Marlee, Nika, Reina and Natalie–each come in the latest fashions with their own cute little accessories and a copy of the Friends Forever Girls books. The dolls are dressable, movable and in all ways lovable (and much more reasonably priced than those other dolls-that-come-with-books-that-shall-not-be-named).

Scribbit- Motherhood in Alaska

Michelle Mitchell

Today for Things I Love Thursday is the beautiful Friends Forever Girls dolls. My granddaughter will receive one of these great dolls for her first birthday. I believe that she will be delighted.

Let me tell you a bit about these beautiful dolls. The Friends Forever Girls won an award for Dr. Toys Best Children product in 2008. The 18 inch dolls were created for girls to have a best friend in. Through these wonderful dolls a girl can build her self esteem as well as learn how to be a best friend. The Friends Forever dolls are the brain child of a mother who simply wanted to find a doll who could help foster morality, friendship and being a girl for her daughter. When she was unable to find the perfect doll she decided to create her own. Thus the Friends Forever Girls were created.

The doll that I choose for my granddaughter is named Natalie.  She is quite a stunning little gal with her backpack and playful clothing. She reminds me of my granddaughter and daughter as she grew up. Natalie comes with a book to let you know her entire story. What fun it will be for a little girl or an older girl to have a friend to share her thoughts with.

I also love the butterfly promise that the Forever Friends Girls company has created for the dolls and girls who owns the doll to share.

AnniesHome

Well move over Barbie and American Girl because a few new girls have moved into the neighborhood. The Friends Forever Girls, are real girls for real girls. They are ethnically diverse and each one with her own unique look and personality. The 18 inch-tall vinyl dolls have moveable arms and legs and were crafted to represent the realistic body of a young girl.

For long-time friends and Wisconsin natives Kristi Necochea and Lisa Quakenbush the idea of giving back is at the core of their business philosophy. Their goal is to model a set of core values that inspires young girls. Friendship…character…community, which is the positive message the Friendship Forever Girls want to bring to little girls play.

The Toy Guru crew played with Reina (which means “Queen” in Spanish). Her bio is impressive; she wants to be a veterinarian when she grows up because of her love of animals. She understands that she has to work really hard in school because you need good grades to be an animal doctor. She recently moved to this new neighborhood, where she met all the Friends Forever Girls!

The other dolls’ stories come to life through a series of books that take the reader through the challenging and exciting adventures of everyday life. Young readers can understand and relate to the age-appropriate book series (ages 6+) that use contemporary stories and introduces the Butterfly Promises. Kids can also go onto Friends Forever Girls.com to play in secured areas.

Be the best I can be
Use kindness and be fair
Tell the truth
Treat others the way I want to be treated
Encourage my friends
Respect myself and others
Find the courage to do what’s right
Listen to others, and remember…
You can do it!

 Chiff.com

About the Author: Mary Rose is a Mommy, a writer and an early childhood educator who believes in learning through play and the value of good toys.